My life...the gong show!

Most of you know that my love life can be summed up in two words.... GONG SHOW!!! Seriously, I don't know what it is but I am a creep magnet! they always seem ok at first and then BANG, they pull a Britney Spears and turn out psycho. I have been told many times I should write a book about my dating experience as it would add great reading material in the comedy section. I hereby submit 2 examples...just a snapshop in the love life of Lynnette!

1. 'The blinker' - this was a blind date set up by someone I knew from church. Apparently this guy had seen me at the Easter musical and asked his friend to set him up with me. I was told he was an outgoing guy and very smart. I don't have to time to ge into much detail...but we went out with the guy who set us up and his girlfriend. We went to play pool and my date...well, he sat on a stool all curled up like an old man, hair cut so close to his head he reminded me of grover from sesame street! I call him the blinker b/c his eyeballs were huge! I'm talkin' the kind that stick out of the head more then in. He never spoke a word to me the entire date and when I did ask him something he would curl up more on his chair and smile. lol The worst thing was that when he blinked it was like an eclipse! It felt like slow motion...his eyelids slowly trying to reach over his eyeballs. It was hilarious. So, needless to say this date was over even before it started. Funny thing is a couple of days later I received an email from the guy saying he loved every minute of the date and thought I was marriage material! Bah ha ha ha...yeah right!


2. 'Kiwi Zoo boy' - (my favorite story!) this guy I met online. Now, before I scare you off from online dating, I did have a successful relationship from an online thing so it has pros as well as cons. Anyways, after talking for a couple of months I finally agreed to meet this guy in London for the day. When I first saw him he was wearing lime green shows, black earings and his hair kept falling over his eyes to which he was always flicking it back. (His picture had non of the above!) He was from New Zealand (Kiwi) and an elementary school teacher. Again, to make a long story short in the middle of tourist area, sat, before christmas (hence....crowds everywhere!) he asked me if I go embarassed easily. I told him I was pretty easy going and it depended on what happened. He then proceeded to make barn yard animal noises at the top of his lungs!!! NO JOKES! I'm talking about a horse, a cow, and e even added a donkey! everyone turned around and was lookign at us. Was I embarassed...? I would say the word would be mortified! he wouldn't stop! he kept going and going. I have no idea what the prupose of this was and usually fun banter does not involve everyone in London thinking we are mental. Again, needless to say I caught the next train home and after his many attempt to call me for another date...I finally got rid of him.

SO there you have it....2 of many stories of my so called love life. I would tell you more but that would make you pitty me more.....I put this qustion out to the world...are there any NORMAL available guys out there??????